it's taken a day or so to really absorb what happened yesterday. i thought that i would be writing about it immediately after returning home but we were super tired and i found that i was over stimulated. we did look at our photos first thing though.
oh, yeah, nina surprised me when i got back to the states with 2 tickets to the gigantour. the gigantour is Megadeth, Lamb of God, Opeth and Overkill. The best gift ever and she didn't even know who else was playing....all she cared about was Megadeth. She didn't even know that I am stoked on Opeth and Lamb of God. actually, seeing lamb of god bummed me out. so i am not linking to them.
so we drove 50 miles to devore, ca with nina's camera and this is what we saw.
heavy metal parking lot. this car parked next to our volvo. we knew we were posers from the beginning.
there was lots of this ( and it was only 5 pm, 5 hours until megadeth). drunk red neck "metalheads". we thought they looked like wobbly strawberry heads. i bet the US polo association would be bummed to see this dude.
we kept making bets on whether people were boys or girls. nina proved much more adpet at this than i was. these dudes, all dudes.
dude
questionable
the best part about going to a metal show in LA is the mexican metalheads. coming from the midwest and even from nyc it's always rad to go to shows in LA and see the mexican kids styled out. even the LA interpol shows were my favorite cause the whole front row would be black clad stoked mexican kids.
and here's some more dudes we liked. nina took cali's advice and told them that we had a website devoted to metalheads, rockoutwithyourcockout.com. these kids wanted to know if they should really take their pants off.
the other thing we were wondering about is how a bunch of 16 year olds figured out how to look like they came straight out of a megadeth video from 1988. but then i guessed that it's probably the same as when i figured out how to dress like richard hell circa 1976 when i was 16. you are born with that stupid gene.
these guys all had sabbath shirts on. we had been sitting at a table right near the gate and they came in and did what half the people did once their ticket had been scanned. it was a move similar to that olympic event where you skip hop and jump. people would come in, whoop, do one skip, jump and then start running. nina had to chase these guys down to get their photo, which they wouldn't allow her to do until she told them it was going on the internet.
at some point we decided to actually see one of these bands play. and it happened to be arch enemy. they sucked. they were the worst. you could barely even tell that it was a guitar making that noise. and the singer had cookie monster vocals. basically they sucked. they sounded dumb and they looked dumb and it bummed me out that mustaine asked these morons to play (along with all the other crap i did not see on the side stage) instead of someone like high on fire, kyleesa or even early man. i realize that arch enemy is the dude from carcass and that they are from the same town in sweden, halmstad, where i had a van accident in 2001 while on tour with J Mascis and the Fog. the same town that hosted us with my torn up leg and was so kind. none of that excuses how lame this band was. mustaine said it was supposed to be about the guitar and bands shredding on guitar. this band did no shredding.
so we took some more photos and made fun of more people.
like this lady. she couldn't figure out where her seat was located. we were wondering why she didn't google the seating chart for the venue on her giant blackberry clipped to one of those sexy slits in her pants.
we made fun of arch enemy a little bit. we caught the singer in mid head bang and mid pelvic thrust. gnarly.
we made fun of this west hollywood fashion couple maybe 10 times throughout the day. i mean i know i had designer jeans on but at least i didn't look like a euro poof at a metal show with a prostitute girlfriend.
i gotta wrap this up and there are still a ton more photos. but let me just tell you that every good time has to be ruined by a fucking racist. it's inevitable. this fat fuck was standing next to us right before megadeth went on. him and his ugly hillbilly friends were making fun of the security when i decided to snap the photo below. at this point security was just running all over the place chasing metal heads in various degrees of intoxication. it was almost like a cartoon with yellow coats running back and forth, up and down. anyway, this knobhead was talking about the security and i looked over and saw his amazing mullet with the dink, dink, dink, dink, dink hair ties down the back. our camera had died so i had to use the phone. i am crouching down pretending to text someone and as i take this very photo this ginger hair loser says, "ya know the good thing about coming to a metal show like this?" and before his dipshit friend that was drinking the 3 foot tall, phallic looking, pink frozen margarita could answer "frozen margaritas shaped like a penis?!!" the guy answered his own question with this gem, this little nugget of california liberalism. he said:
"there's no fuckin' niggers"
i was dumbfounded. not cause he was a dipshit, fat fuck racist. but because i turned around and i could count about 10 black people 4 of whom weren't working but hanging out rocking misfits and metallica shirts. and then it bummed me out to realize that white people had co opted everything and that a black person would never have the chance to go to a hip hop show and say to his buddies "HEY! at least we don't have to see any fucking crackers stinking up the joint at this lil' john show". white people ruin everyone's fun.
then we thought 'ya know best thing about a show like this are the fat, dumb pigs like you that we have been laughing at all day long".
and we went and watched megadeth totally slay. their guitars sounded like sweet guitars and they shredded. but our battery was dead on the camera so we don't have any photos of the sweet pyro or the fireworks or the new guitar player sticking his tongue out and generally looking like the metal version of the douche.
however, 5 minutes ago, after i listened to nina talk about how hot dave mustaine was all day and wonder whether he would go out with her when she im'ed me the photo below, i decided that i think megadeth suck worse than arch enemy.
