milk maid dud bean

some band's manager asked me for a resume today. so i sent him a list of all the bands i have tm'ed and when. then he wrote back and asked me for a "formal" resume. lame. so i spent like 90 minutes i could have used to fix the toilet that runs non-stop writing a "formal"resume. well, harley, kindly let me copy his and fill in my info. the retarded part is and the reason i am writing is that it should be adequate for me to write down what bands i worked for and when. because if you are gonna hire me to do my job you already know what my job is. and i shouldn't have to spell it out for you while trying to keep the thing to one page. and i shouldn't have to say things like: "responsibilities included: advancing the shows, accounting, wiping so and so's ass". because if you need to hire a tour manager you know that they do those things. on top of this, this guy wasn't even hiring me but was passing it along to someone else and he wouldn't even tell me who that is. or at least he just ignored the email where i asked. at least i didn't have to write the style where i am supposed to describe what sort of experience i am looking for in one sentence.
i'll tell you what i really thought would be a good resume for no other reason than i think it would have been really funny. it would have been this:

Los ticka toe rest. Might likea sender doe ree. Your make a doll a ray day sender bright like a penelty.
Exi-tease my ray day member half lost a beat away. Purst in like a one way sender war give a heart like a fay. Cuz I can ford a red eed only street a wide a ree land. Die-mond make a mid-evil bike a sake a like a ree caste. Cuz I can ford a red eed only street a wide a ree land. On a ree land. Find a ree land.
You sink a my swan. Rolly a get a worst in. Maybe minus way far central poor forty duck a pin.
Milk maid dud bean. Master a load a head. Pill pop a dope a well run general hash pump a gonna led.

it's pretty fun to play the video and sing along. even more fun to sing it acappella in your room really loud, by yourself. it's also nice to know that for the past 12 years that i have been singing this song in my head, not knowing the lyrics, i wasn't really that far off. i'd say it's arguably the best song Ahmet Ertegun (RIP) ever released.

Comments

[Laz]

Me thinks ya need to cut back on the weed!

[Ollie]

Here is to hoping that you and your loved ones had very happy holidays and a wonderful new year.

oh and don't forget to get shit faced this new years!

[Keith]

I love that Melvins song. But what the fuck is Buzz talking about??