if i could settle down, then i would settle down

**now it's been announced: meg white is suffering from "acute anxiety" so the white stripes have cancelled their tour. get well soon, please for your sake and mine and 35 others. our favorite jobs just vanished in thin air.**

okay. so i have some news that i am afraid to put on the internet. i don't want to be the first one to spill it. it's a matter of professionalism.
let me just say that it's true. the grass is always, always greener. because now that i have something i always think i want (namely, time at home) i am sort of bummed about it. plans fall through. things change. i should be psyched to get my apartment in order. but that was slated to happen in nov. i was happy to have time to think about the things i wanted to do. happy to take it slowly, this moving in. but now, instantly, it's staring me in the face. and not just the apartment, but other facets of my life. demanding to be put in order, no longer relegated to weeks away.
this is a big deal. these things come gradually to most people.... paying a bill here or there, unpacking, buying a tv, moving on. i only have short periods of time to get these things taken care of. so when that is in my face hyper space speed. it feels heavy and scary.
i wanted to drive through yellowstone.

so selfish.

Comments

[Valentina]

We all seem to have unpacked boxes.

[Betsy]

:( I'm sorry I blabbed my big mouth this morning. I could have spared you some worried hours.

[Maddy]

Geez - that sucks! I read about this news this morning and was bummed for you. Things will fall into place, they always do.

[Gloria]

Okay, you're entitled to one down day....relish it, languish in it....then get out there and get those chores done! Yellowstone will still be there....I saw it 41 years ago and lo and behold! It is still there! Good luck and have fun "furnishing".

[Dave Martin]

The first thing I thought when I heard was "Man, that's not good for Dave." but you should really take some time to enjoy yr. new place because chances are you're not gonna be there too much in the next year. You should also get over to last days of man on earth and check out the Real Enemy cassette that he posted. It should def. cheer you up.

Dave

[kerri]

sure was good seeing you, friend. thanks for the hospitality and good times.

[kime]

man, way to make it seem like you don't want to spend all of your future days decorating with me and lounging with georgie boy while watching on-demand. There are pictures & hammocks to be hung. Porch lights and pizza parties. You're starting to make me feel like I have some "acute Anxiety"

[Gloria]

One wonders if there is any such diagnosis as "an ugly anxiety."---or are all anxieties ugly?

[susan]

i want to stick my face in that cat's belly.