wwbpd?

last week sometime while discussing life dreams with jen a we came across this real estate listing.  i've been obsessed with it ever since.  there's a ton of things you could do with this place that is off the grid but completely accessible.  i won't tell you any cause i don't want you to steal my ideas.  but there's a lot. that's not my point. anyway...

this got me thinking that i don't really think that rich people understand how to live. if they did then why, 10 days after i first saw it, would this property still be on the market?  what i mean is:  if you are brad pitt and you make $25 million ($25,000,000) per movie and you only have one kid to support, why wouldn't you buy this?  there should be a buy it now button or a paypal link on that real estate site.

cause why not?  it's only 3.5 million dollars.  that's nothing. you wouldn't even have to pay cash for it if you didn't have 3.5 mil laying around in some sort of liquid form, surely brad pitt can get  a loan no prob. put it on the black amex card, whatever.  but just buy it dude.  it's like a slice of heaven.  some people have said, "maybe he already has an awesome place like that in the south of france." fine, maybe so.  but who cares, so buy another one. what's the worst that's gonna happen?  maybe he decides he doesn't want it in 3 years and has done nothing with it so he sells it for probably at least $50 - 100,000 more.  i just don't get it.  what do rich people do with their money?  i often feel like this... like they don't really know how to spend it or to live.  i mean what do i know?  but i certainly don't think they are spending it the way i would.

today i was talking to  owleypatrol, my new friend (seen here shooting a gun for the first time ever). we both know really wealthy people that don't have to work but do (totally retarded) and some that don't work but don't do anything at all.  (hint: buy a redwood preserve in big sur, duh.). so she asked me what i would do if someone gave me $5,000,000.  some things i came up with:

1.) red wood preserve yoga retreat
2.) buy an apartment in nyc
3.) buy every power tool i wanted and hire a super good carpenter to teach me to build amazing furniture.
4.) live in japan for at least 6 months.
5.) start a magazine for my friends
6.) go to antartica
7.) hike the appalachian trail (i know i can do this without 5 mil but i wouldn't have to be stresssed the whole time i was doing it)
8.)  buy myself a role as an extra in a dunst film

since no one is going to give me millions of dollars i have been focusing and trying hard to think how i might make that money.  here's an idea:
if you don't work in the entertainment industry you might not be aware of a type of interview called a phoner.
a phoner is when a journalist conducts an interview over the phone. they are given a time and a number to call (cell phone, hotel room, home phone, publicist office, etc) and they have their interview.  these interviews usually happen much to the dismay of the subject.  this is one of the top 5 most annoying responsibilities of my job, getting the talent to agree to do the interview and then actually do it at said time. i often make reference to my old favorite movie, jerry maguire and plead with them to "help me, help you make money.  the more interviews you do, the more records or tickets you sell the more you make." or i just straight up tell them "i don't care if you don't do the interview." cause i don't. if they don't want to become more noteworthy what do i care?  anyway... back to my point. my idea is to start a company that does these non - face to face interviews for people.  after 14 months of touring with interpol i KNEW every answer to every question they could have been asked. so all you'd have to do is sit in on like 5 interviews an artist does, take some notes, tape it, whatever. and then you could charge a fee to field all these interviews for them.  i mentioned it to a dude from widespread panic last night in athens and he was totally into it.  i know j would be into it.  it's a total moneymaker.
i have lots of other ideas too, i'll sell them to any interested people.

speaking of shitty parts of my job... i got to deal with the one i hate the most tonight.  when someone doesn't show up for the bus call and you have to go find them. when they aren't at the strip club you know they are in their hotel room. and there they are after 35 phone calls and 12 minutes of constant banging on the door at 12 am a drunken, passed out murph with a totally shaved bright red head.  what a loser.

what is weird in this photo (besides the fact that ben franklin apprears to be in a truck stop)?

the other night i went to waffle house with 2/3 of awesome color.  so good.

awesome color.  they are a great.  really awesome.

 

Comments

[Owley Patrol]

nice to have you back. good post. finally! you are very funny indeed. but not as funny as me!xo

[Maddy]

All brilliant ideas. Sorry I don't have any money to throw your way. I'm going to Japan in August - wanna come?!

Stay safe out there!
M x

[gloria]

Hey sounds like you're working on a plan with that Phoner deal. I give...what was odd in that photo. Awesome Color was pretty good in the snippets I listened to. I see from their site that you will be in N'awlins soon. Prepare for the plains states with the snow and all to come. P.S....I'm still in the lottery pool at work, maybe we'll get those "wishes" one day!

[hason]

picturing brad pitt on his laptop transferring money from his checking acct to his paypal acct to buy the big sur spread has been making me happy all week.

[suzy Yun]

back off brad.

http://www.keprtv.com/news/entertainment/12114161.html

[ds]

suzy....
i love pitt as much as anyone. but if brad really wants to help he can do two things:
1.) he can donate the whole check from his next movie.
2.) he can buy me a red wood preserve.

[ds]

besides, i wasn't attacking bp. i was merely offering him up as an example of someone who makes serious bread.

[suzy Yun]

5 mil aint a bad offering, but fair enough, none the less.
i'll buy you a jar of strawberry preserves.