andrew took that photo of me. his photos rule. he loves my teeth which are in the process of being fixed. so here are some photos from atlanta to sf. i wanna get back into the swing of things. all you really need to know tho is that this is the most fun i have had on tour ever.
ATLANTA.
after ATL show. this is often how gregg exits the stage in varying degrees of disarray. sweats over high tops. i often feel like no one that isn't sweaty with at least one article of clothing removed should not be allowed to get a photo or an autograph.
NEW ORLEANS.
thu tran's 27th birthday and possibly the craziest show of the tour with the highest girl to guy ratio for sure. andrew was explaining to these girls there slim chances of getting on the tour bus.
post show thu tran birthday altar.
this video will really sum up new orleans
DALLAS.
TUCSON
i learned that i love to dance to hip hop music at a shitty hole in tucson called SHARKS. Whenever you are in Tucson on a Thursday night do not miss sharks.
rust belt humor.
SAN FRANCISCO
after the show in SF gregg got a phil anselmo mohawk. i am jealous.
currently i am on the bus, by myself, in a bad mood and a little depressed, listening to john fahey. yes. the guitar player. my tank drained of fun by the shithole of america that is houston, tx. what a waste. fuck this place. this club sucks. the dressing rooms are like being in prison, beige walls and flourescent lights. the staff acting like they didn't know they were gonna have a show in a 1000 capacity venue where 900 people were going to try to get onstage. the security was freaked before the show but they didn't want to listen to me. and then freaked when during the show they couldn't control the stage invasion. after every other show at least 3 giant security dudes told me how much fun they had. not here. just lame. downtown today was a ghost town. a depressing shopping mall all that thu and i could find open to have a cup of coffee in a half stocked starbucks where the "barista" was trying to pawn free tickets to the minor league hockey game off on us. does anyone even live here? if the downtown corridor is empty on a nice weekend day and the shittiest starbucks in the world has a stack of 100 hockey tickets to give away, wtf is going on. well i just this instant remebered that there was a hurricane here. so now i feel even more depressed that i am such a shallow piece of shit. but i can guarantee you that Ike or not the members of the staff at this club that were dumb fucks would have been just as depressing and worthless.
bright side, houston is over. there is actually not one city left that i can say i am dreading on this tour. even salt lake is better than this place. other than today the tour has been amazing. a total blast. being surrounded by 26 year old talented kids is doing the trick. on top of that everyone on the bus is either a true ohioan or lived there for at least 6 years. needless to say the humor is dark and everyone get's the joke.
here are some photos from the tour, so far.
lord grunge from grand buffet holding a chocolate pentagon in baltimore, md.
5 seconds until chaos in carrboro, nc. since then we have added 180 pounds of sand bags and another seet of ratchet straps to our table set up in order to keep it relatively in place during the show. oh and a security guard posted up on gregg's right arm so that he can make the show happen.
this kid in carrboro was really messed up. probably high on lsd. 5 minutes into the set the power came unplugged from the computer. i pressed my way to the table and was standing on the front edge moving the power supply to a safe place and trying to tape it down. all the while the show still going. the kids climbing onto the stage. my head is down i am on my knees on the edge of the stage when a pretty heavy girl bowls me over. literally like a bowling ball. into the crowd i went and as i look up i see this kid stepping onto and over the TABLE. the only place he could possibly step was the spare computer. and as i am going down i thought, 'i gotta get that little fuck". but then realized that was probably impossible. i got the power issue resolved and moved to the side. then i see that dude literally right up on top of gregg's right arm spazzing out. like just really fucked up style. so i pushed my way to the front and pulled that dude out of there. legs flailing, arms flying he was totally not into going. i got him to the back of the stage and he slipped away. only to be thrown out by the big dude onstage. where i found him arguing with the cop, totally rationally, that his right leg could wait outside while the rest of him went back in. the right leg was the troublemaker. he is telling the cop, 'wait. i know this is crazy. i understand what i am saying. but just let me leave this leg out here and this one can go back in'. well, i know he was on acid because i remember making the same arguement to my friends way back in 1990 when i was on a tab of some dancing bear acid and smoking burnt toast i found in the trash out of a water bong and trying to explain to them that i UNDERSTOOD that it was TOAST from the garbage can but that even so when i put it in the bong and hit it it was most definitely doing something to me. so i just cracked up and was really surprised that the cop was not trying to take this dude down. he walked home in one shoe, last i saw him he was studying some leaves on a branch at the edge of the parking lot.
this is how the show looks.
post show we watch dvd's. andrew, gregg, thu. 3 very funny people.
we are travelling with an air compressor.
oh yeah! fuck this place too... after the show in asheville we went to a 24 hour diner that was in a gas station. the fat fuck working there was such a depressed asshole and bummed me out so hard that i couldn't even order the ice cream sundae i was looking forward to after my grilled cheese. i just think that a sundae should be made by someone that isn't a total frowny cocksucker. so i spilled my drink on the floor.
anyway... this is thu tran. ohioan by birth. clevelander to boot. and totally funny. basically she would make the best ice cream sundae. she even has a tv show about food. check it out here, FOOD PARTY.
hey. i was inspired for like a minute to make my own page to donate to obama. but then i got really busy on this girl talk tour and figured... fuck it. she does such a good job at being impassioned about the obama campaign i will just link to it from my page. she has raised almost 2 g's in less than a week. help her hit that plateau and keep going, please.
while i am busy trying to stop dayglo teenage zombie mf's from crushing my employer.
you can help obama keep a decrepit zombie from crushing your dreams.
yeah, man. this is totally fun. my new job in photos. 2nd show. Washington, DC. 9:30 club.
before.
during.
find the laptop screen. that's the dude i work for, right in front of that. he does not give a fuck. more than any other punk i have worked for or known in my life. he does not give a FUCK. all he asks for is "an inch of space for his right arm" so he can move the mouse. see the bald dude? last night i did that guys job. the big security dudes in baltimore had to actually HOLD the table to keep it from going off stage and i stood about 3 feet closer to gregg than that dude. partly cause this crowd was rowdier and partly because i am not a big ass bald mofo that can't be budged. instead i dealt with the most tenacious teenager i have ever met in my life. i went onstage about 15 minutes in when some shit got unplugged (another thing that, while not desirable, does not seem to faze girl talk) and this girl was ontop of another pressing up on him i flashed her with my light, told her to move back. she did. then i sort of positioned myself between her and the table. she spent the next 75 minutes trying to weasel her legs, arms, head in front of me. i would gently push her back and reestablish myself and 30 seconds later she is right back. kids were asking me if i was having fun, having conversations with me in the midst of this and i have to admit. it was kind of fun. it was as sweaty but less violent than straight edge shows i went to as a kid. yeah, way less violence and way more fun vibe. i can't say i want to do it every night, but it's pretty exhilirating.
seriously. find the laptop.
giant plastic balloon. we use leaf blowers to blow them up
after.
30 more to go and really, i am sort of not looking forward to the end. but i will say that broken social scene will be a breeze after this.
the other night, one of my last nights before leaving for this 7 week tour, i watched that new vampire show on hbo. unfortunately it is cliche ridden and a little dull. anna paquin somehow fluctuates between hot and not an average of 13 times an episode.
anyway... it was like 3:30 am when i went to bed. and it has been especially dark around my house lately as the street light burnt out and there's not been a moon and on this night arlies lights upstairs were out. so no light. and i was freaked. i laid in bed and i watched the sliding doors, curtains wide open, waiting for a vamp to walk up and press it's face to the glass. the one thing saving me from having a total breakdown, 5 year old style, is that vampires must be invited into your house. which i had no plans on doing. i'd already invited one vampire named CARLOS D into my life.
(photoshopping by little forest, art direction by moi from 40,000 feet above the earth.)
so... i am laying there staring at the doors feeling, like, pretty scared. and maybe i sound like a big pussy but you've never been to my house in the sticks in the city. it is susceptible to not only marauding cholos and neighborhood junkies, but bloodsuckers as well. i decided that i would turn some music on... so i got up and the ipod is by the fridge which when i get there notice is making like non fridge like sort of rustley noises. sorta like a rat might be behind it but not as clawey/clickity. sorta like it might be a bat. so i got even more freaked. and i felt like a total mess. it's 3:45 am i am 36 and i am scared that anna paquins tv vampire bf has turned into a bat, broken like one of the cardinal rules for being undead and let himself into my apartment and is now rustling around stuck(?) behind the refrigerator. so i just pressed play on my bloody valentine really fast mainly cause that is what i had been listening to earlier and i wanted to get back in bed as fast as possible. but i also figured it was loud enough to drown out / frighten the creature in the kitchen. i literally pulled the covers over my head and waited for the vamp to tap me on the shoulder and proceed to suck my blood (side note: it would also be my luck that the bloodsucker that got me would be a dude and not some really hot grace jones vampire). instead i just fell asleep and woke up around 10 am to a sunny day. i had forgotten about my fretful night and was happy to see a text from hopper telling me she was at intelligentsia waiting for her car to be repaired. i put on some clothes. did a cursory hygenic clean up. grabbed my keys. opened my door. and this is the first thing i see.
yes. dismembered squirrel leg literally on my doorstep. so, fuck you for thinking that i was a big crybaby pussy the whole time you've been reading this post.
that was the end. the end of the my bloody valentine show. the one i asked for guest list spots to. then when the day came around i didn't really want to go. it's not a reflection of mbv or my love of that band or the fact that it was on the other side of town, 3 blocks from the ocean. it's just cause the desire to go see live bands plays has been utterly pummeled out of me by 7 years of averaging about 200 nights of loud guitars and large crowds of people. but i went cause amber seemed pumped to go and i knew i'd get to see lots of friends. and by the time i got there i was excited. i wanted the volume.
and i was totally not disappointed. although i do wish i could have seen the SF show where the venue was long enough to warrant two FULL pa's (one halway back form the stage). but this was loud enough. and since my ears are fucked anyway. after the third song i took my ear plugs out. it wasn't until the last 10 minutes of the 20 minute noise jam that i got a little scared. not only scared cause i could physically feel my ears hurting a little but that guitar was making some real satanic noises. it was so loud that you couldnt' hear. it was definitely just a rumble and then you'd see keving move his hand slightly and i swear it sounded like satan whispering (satan probably whispers loud) in your ear that he was going to like rape you in a really pleasant way. and it went on. and on. and on. and all i kept thinking about is how bummed j mascis must have been opening for his old friends a few days earlier in new york. cause dino sounded like you might when you are singing under your breath to your headphones in the library compared to this. i spent all year last year totally proud that i was working for the loudest band on the planet. happy to go into clubs all over the world and tell them that their db limit meant nothing to us. happily explaining to sound guys everywhere that 'yes indeed, we use all 9 speaker cabinets AND the victoria twin amp". and then i would watch during the show and look at j's tuner a lot. i would try and imagine what it felt like being that tuner and night after night sitting on the floor directly in front of all those screaming amps. and sometimes i would imagine that it felt like being in a furnace. and i would imagine that everything in front of those amps was radioactive with the volume. but kevin, wow. kevin had 11 amps. and at least 18 speakers from what i could count. and then belinda had like 4 amps. and the drums were pummeling. it was exciting. once at a soundcheck i stuck my head in front of j's amps for a minute or two. i stood righ in the spot that he stands for all the shows. i wanted to know what it felt like. well... if you saw mbv this year... now you know. out in the foh it was as loud as it is to stand in 2 feet in front of j's screaming stacks. and i hope you did it without ear plugs. cause i don't think it coulda felt better.
afterwards amber and i went back with the no age dudes to say hey to my friends working and kevin, whom i know through j. no age dudes were so stoked and slack jawed when i introduced them to kevin. they had gone both nights. and i have spent some time with kevin over the years. the first time i met him in his apartment in 2001 i just knew him as j's friend kevin. i didn't put together who it might be. so i am sitting there reading an nme as they are talking and slowly as i am eavesdropping i realized 'oh shit!, kevin shields!' and then a few days later we got really stoned in our hotel in london and i turned him onto the big pettridge farm cookies they happened to have at the store next door. we ate like 10 of them. but last night... i was like a fan boy and i didn't know what to say and i felt weird. so i left.
i didn't want to go cause i didn't think it would be as epic as 1993 when i saw them with dinosaur jr and scrawl in columbus, ohio. i didn't know it could be MORE epic than ever.
